Last week during my Bible Journaling, I came across this passage in Genesis 32.
“ And the messengers returned to Jacob, saying, “We came to your brother Esau, and he is coming to meet you, and there are four hundred men with him.” Then Jacob was greatly afraid and distressed. He divided the people who were with him, and the flocks and herds and camels, into two camps, thinking, “If Esau comes to the one camp and attacks it, then the camp that is left will escape.”
I realised I am a bit like Jacob.
Jacob jumped to conclusions. So do I.
He let his insecurities drive his fears. So do I.
He thought the worst of a situation before it had even happened. So do I.
Jacob had a lot of guilt attached to his insecurities and fear. After robbing Esau of his birthright, he was continually physically and emotionally on the run, even though God had promised him something greater.
In the middle of a workshop I did for our church’s biennial National Youth Camp, I got totally sidetracked and started talking about all the things that I struggled with in life, and I mentioned the conversations I have in my head with people that I haven’t even spoken to yet, and how I jump to conclusions, and so on and so on….. yes, ramble, ramble.
I asked the roughly sixty young adults if they ever did the same, and the surprising thing was that nearly ALL fessed up. They ALL did the same. They often didn’t broach subjects because they knew EXACTLY what the other person would say. They were scared of going to places because they knew how they would be accepted, or not accepted.
I am the same.
Later in the chapter we see how Jacob tried to protect his family by dividing his camp. He was leaning on his own strength.
God had promised Jacob the world which included protection, and yet he didn’t trust that God would keep His promises.
I need to remember God’s promises to me.
I need to remember that not everyone is “out to get me” just as Jacob thought Esau was out to get him.
I am in control of what discussions I have in my head, and I pray that I will get better at quieting them.
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God’s Word to your life is an amazing and wonderful thing and blesses my life immensely.
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